In Memory of Mdm Tan Chwee Teck

My paternal grandmother passed away on Monday morning, in her sleep aged 91. My relatives were saying that she killed herself by refusing to eat. Maybe to her staying alive with a broken body was suffering and she chose to end it.I would to the same thing too if nothing can repair that body of mine anymore.


Her maid is a 22 year old girl from indonesia. Shes very funny. Prehaps because of her age she,she is always cheerful. She very funny lar can talk to Amah when folding the paper offering. She said to Amah's photo "Amah I fold many many for you. Ah see Amah smile at me. I love you ah". So comical!

Rosalind, Xiaoting, Meihui and Sally dropped by the wake last night. I ate so much peanuts over the few days. And skipping my gym and running sessions. Sure gain weight after everything's blown over.

Miner Ahead!

Went shopping with Rosalind, Xiaoting and Meihui. Suppose to meet ZY but she doesnt want to walk down from wheelock when we where in Hereen. The thought was mutual, but at least offer to meet us somewhere in between lah....
Didnt meet her up in the end.

Rosalind bought this pen in Hereen, supposingly to wave it at her boss when shes unhappy.See I can orr pi sai with it. I thought she wanted to substitute for finger for it .

Confession : I'm no longer Virgin

This afternoon, I lost my virginity of motorcycle riding to Zhongmao! I kicked his butt while spreading my legs to get on because the jeans im wearing is not really flexible. So I put on the helmet and we rode away.

Haha sound so lewd! It wasnt really that scary, but i was quite tensed up. I think he knew and rode quite slowly. I was always scared of not balancing on the bike resulting in the whole bike skidding or getting burnt by the exhaust pipe.

Overall I think Im not meant to ride on bikes because my legs get cramps even on the 10 minute ride. I dont like folding my long long legs into origami for any purpose. Thats why I never really liked bus rides or movie seats.

老鼠爱大米......

But my bunk doesn't have any 大米, so why are the 老鼠s keep coming in? Im so freaked out. Because im really afraid of Rats,Mice and yes, Hamsters too!

Last night Chris and I were actually watching TV in the mess room and I caught a glimpse of a mouse from the door that was ajar. So after we ended out TV session, I said "Scully suay suay the mouse go into our bunk".

I walked towards my bed and he screamed "老鼠!". I screamed and jumped on the bed. I really freaked out! We were hopping from bed to bed, cabinet to cabinet, and ran out to get help. Jonathan came in with a broom and tried to track and chase the mouse out.

After some futile attempts at it, he gave up. And I screamed whenever the mouse dash across the floor to take cover. Yucks! Jonathan went off....without catching the mouse!

So its just me and Chris. Both scared of mice! I had to do something because I'm the only one sleeping there. Poking every items under the bed was nerve wreaking...my heart was racing. And if a mouse was to scurry out I hope I can jump and cling to the ceiling.

After inspecting all the items under the bed, no mouse was found. But we were sure it ran under the bed! I didnt really anticipate that it was hiding behind the door. I opened the door and it ran for cover again, deeper into the room. I left the room door open hoping that the mouse would escape at night.

Throughout the whole mice catching operation, I screamed so loud that the new Sgts from the room beside came out to see whats happening. They would have been in a chaotic situation if there was a mouse was in their bunk instead of mine. Because more people will be dodging and screaming! Muahahah!

I gave up and slept in another room. This morning while heading to the toilet, I saw the mouse running into the mess room! Dont know if its the one last night or a relative. But I sure didnt step into the mess till afternoon, and after a 'recce' went in to make sure its safe,from mice.

Yazid said he saw a rat running under my bed. I asked someone to clear check it out before I get near my bed. :( All clear...no rat, and I cleared everything under it to make sure it had no hiding place. Well at least no rat under my bed im safe.

Its that time of the month

My aircon is leaking and the exact location of the drip just keeps shifting. Whisper panty liners dont come in handy here. I've been sleeping in the comfort of the mechanical cool air for the past month without realising it till now. The natural air is so humid! I feel sticky after my shower an hour ago!

I excercise everyday!

Here is an exercise regime that requires no gym fees or even going outside :

1. Beating around the bush
2. Jumping to conclusions
3. Climbing the walls
4. Swallowing my pride
5. Passing the buck
6. Throwing my weight around
7. Dragging my heels
8. Pushing my luck
9. Making mountains out of molehills
10. Hitting the nail on the head
11. Wading through paperwork
12. Bending over backwards
13. Jumping on the bandwagon
14. Balancing the books
15. Running around in circles
16. Eating crow
17. Tooting my own horn
18. Climbing the ladder of success
19. Pulling out the stops
20. Adding fuel to the fire
21. Opening a can of worms
22. Putting my foot in my mouth
23. Starting the ball rolling
24. Going over the edge
25. Picking up the pieces

I'll remember you

by Tanya Chua

Sorry wasn't good enough
A song without meter and rhyme
A long forgotten promise
I recalled I made to you

A candle flame dies in the wind
It looks like it's about to rain, about to rain

Spirals from your cigarette
Your sweet cologne on my pillow
Messages you left me still sing like some lullaby

Pretty pictures on the wall
Hopes in us will rise & fall, rise & fall

And in the rain,in summer days too
When the willow tree weeps too...oo..
Under street light so ........bright
I'll remember you everyday

The plane leaves in an hour's time
Hold me till our last goodbye
Silence is the only sound
No words can speak it through
I'll breathe your breath for one last time
You'll be strong and so will I, so will I

And in the rain In summer days too
When the willow tree weeps too...oo...
Under street lights so ............bright
I'll remember you I'll remember you
I'll remember you Everyday

Saturday

Went to the usual saloon @ Far East for a hairbut but Alas the usual stylist were one leave and wont be back till November. Got haircut by a new girl, have to admit her skills not that good.

Joined Kukufang,Ferrene and Ching2 at Coffee Club. But dont know why got 2 extra guys there. Fang's sec school classmate...so bo liao no connection join us for what. Order my pot of tea..as usual. Seldom drink coffee nowadays.

My Darling Ching always so Hiao! And my complexion seems pretty good huh. Must be the facial + my conceler muahaha!

Came back and got news that my mum bleached my T shirt accidently. But what to do? Cant get the colour back already. Lucky its only $19 ,not some expensive stuff.

Missing Body Parts!

Dont go to Kallang River to Kayak! Head and Legs still missing!! Do you think the water sports will still continue over there? What if you are kayaking and suddenly your paddle hits something floating with hair floating on the water surface. EEks! Lets pray for the parts to be found!

美 I help you! Then 減肥 who help me?

Tommorrow will be the first day I go back to camp after 3 weeks. Decided to use the gym and run in the morning to get back in shape again. Should be no problem since nothing to do in camp. Took 2 photos of my recent self(cannot show lah very paiseh) and weighed myself(70kg). Will keep track of progress 2 months later.

Hiao Tar Bor

Went for my first facial in 3 years today. My Dad paid for a package so I got to have facials all paid for. The spa is called Subtle Senses in Chinatown...did a diamond peel and purifying facial. The whole session was quite comfortable, especially when the lady massages your face while washing and theres 1 lymph drainage routine . The diamond peel was just some suction feeling. I didn't see it but I believe its a machine that polishes the skin and remove the upper layer.Removing blackheads and clogged pores that have accumulated these years is the only uncomfortable procedure, but it has to be done. If not ,Im told the blackhead will harden and my pores will be enlarged. After that I got an icy purifying facial...which make my body felt cold too. Overall the whole session felt good...and if I dont have to pay for it i felt better! Will have to pay myself next time if I used up all my sessions. :(

Royston And Angel

Finally met up with Royston and Angel after so long. We were almost always sitting together during lectures during our time in Poly. Roy got so much leaner and Angel, so much fairer and shorter (because she wore flat soles).

Hard to persuade Roy to join Safra gym with me,he goes to that pay per entry Tampines Stadium gym....So have to join alone I guess.

2 Years

10th of June 2005....exactly 2 years since I've enlisted in the National Service on 10/06/03. Thinking back time really did fly past,and im glad. Left with 4 more months or service. Can start counting down, June, July, Aug and Sept.



Its quite a lame photo taken after my BMT. But well what can you expect from a boy who is botak and losing weight? :) Glad I look better now.

Costume Hunting

Just realise it is most effective to do cardio workouts in the first thing in the morning before breakfast than any other time. Surfing websites for workout routine lah. Got to get in shape leh.... But dont know when will i get off my bum and start doing them.

Went costume hunting again today with the pact that we will go to a Halloween party this year. Them being Wenfang and Gang. The address on the website says Victoria Street, but when I got there its on SMU.

The old building was demolished to make way for SMU, guess the website must have been an old one. Came home and found out the new shop is in Middle Road. Have to head there to have a look.

Today the 10th. Payday!!! Yeay!!! Although its just $400 but I just cant stand the feeling of having $33 in my bank account, feel like a pauper.

I have a pimple on my nosedrill. And whats worst im beggining to produce more mucus probably going to catch a cold. Cant stuff tissue into my nose because of the barricade.... :(

Mum The Saviour

This afternoon, while I was climbing in and out of bed while trying to reply MSN messages and snuggling up with my bed, I sat on something. My glasses!! Good heavens!And they gave way!

I was thinking how suay I am,already no $ and now need to pay for a new pair. Waited until evening for my mum to come back so that she can find the screwdriver for me. My mum fixed the spectacles for me while I kept mumbling "How? Cannot be repaired lah.Dont bother already."

My Mum said dont give up so easily. I guess im the kind that look for an easier way out.

The glasses are fixed in the end. Thanks to my Abu and she saved herself a sum of money as well :)

And my Dad spent $50 forum vouchers on 8 Hagen Daz ice cream cakes around the size of my fist. I think $50 can buy 4 pints of ice cream from there....But he chose to buy small cakes......so wasted.

A Sisters Gift

My sister bought me a bag from her recent trip to Britain. Not bad lah she still buy stuff for me. But in fact I think shes quite a selfish and snobbish person. Maybe this gift can redeem a part of herself. *Im an Ingrate!*

My Beaten Body part 2

Had dinner with 3sg Ker, 3sg Benson and Pte Huang Jianhui china man. Steamboat at bugis but its not Tian Tian because I heard it sucks. The 1 I went to only cost $15 and got free drinks because china man knew the boss. Would go there instead of the usual geylang next time.


Walked over to C.H.I.M.E.S to meet Ferrene ,Vivian, Wenfang and Jeffery for awhile. Wenfang went to the pub to see her crush. And she got alittle drunk because she was doing crazy things there. Like siao char bor.




See Wenfang face red like baboons ass, still say shes not drunk!I look like some gundu in the photo..... :(

The bar was patronised by mostly Ang Moh and a small fight broke out at the pool table. Also, one drunk Ang Moh walked over to a table of girls and smashed a glass without a reason. Mad! Think the girls must have got a rude shock. I dont see these happening with the Asian community, probably we dont let ourselves go wild so extreme.


Left after 1/2 an hour. Quite tired now think im going to bed.

My Beaten Body part 1

Spent the whole day outside today! Was with my parents marketing and visiting my Grandmother who just got discharged from hospital this week. Its her first week at home after 2 months.

Met ZY and Rosalind in Tampines later in the afternoon. That ZY!!!! Meet us at 1.15 pm but still sleeping at 12.30. Called her never answer because shes singing in lalaland! Next time like that don't meet her already.After a quick lunch and abit of catching up, I decided not to go home because I have an appointment in the evening and its already 3.

Headed to City Hall for some window shopping. Theres a sale in British India Company!!! I've always like their style of clothes but cant afford them. It must be the ethnic style I like that attracts me to the clothing and probably my fetish with peranakans also.Today I bought a shirt and a carpet for my toilet. Hee hee.


Im left with $33 in my bank account. Red alert! Red alert! My account has never been that low before. And there's still 1 more shirt I regreted not buying just now. Going back next weekend after I get my monthly allowance on the 10th.

I think Meihui is right, Im always buying tops and neglected the bottoms! Ive been wearing the same 2 pairs of jeans since poly days. Time to change my T shirt image to a more adult shirt and jeans . I desperately need more pants, jeans,nice belts and leather shoes! Need to fly to Bangkok to stock up on my clothing. But nobody's interested to go I guess.....

Pack Pack Pack

Suprising this morning, when I went downstairs, my Dad was at home and hes not crazy today. We watched Tv together and sat on the same sofa reading newspapers. Its not really very close but at least hes better than the normal days. Whenhe would be out to dont know where in the morning and when I came back home hes already sleeping. It might had started when I allowed him to clear my unfinished pack of fried rice meant for the day after.

Today I decided to be productive ,instead of sitting down in front of the computer, I unpacked the 2 remaining boxes of clothes that belong to me.It was 2 boxes of clothes! I think i have too much clothing! The closet is going to overflow and I have to use the 1 in the other room too. But seriously, who can withstand the beckoning of nice clothes in a shopping mall? I cant! Especially during a sale.




As you can see the lower rack is already full. And after the 2 boxes I think the clothes must be suffocating inside if they had any life at all.

I think the unwanted clothing are going to go to the Salvation Army and some can go to my Grandmother's maid. If im a girl the maid would be very happy always got new clothes. Haha.

Im wearing the Mask of Madness

Staying at home too much really makes you 胡思乱想, now I understand why my Dad is so cranky after retirement.

Last night while I was going home, decided to drop by Bedok to have some food (it was my first meal of the day at 10.30pm). Bought some chwee kuay and started eating. I was looking around because there was this 怪婆婆 who keeps talking to me. And I saw someone familier. V. I wondered why is V here when V stays in Jurong west.

Spent the whole night thinking and feeling down till this morning. Guess I still havent got over V yet after 2 years.Been thinking how pathetic I am,when people have a purpose in life or at least for the day. All i do is stay home and MSN if not surf some blogs and stupid sites.

记念

想念变成一条线，在时间里面蔓延，
长得可以把世界切成了两个面。
他在春天那一边，你的秋天刚落叶，刚落叶。

如果从此不见面，让你凭记忆想念，
本来这段爱情可以记得很完美，
他的样子已改变，有新伴侣的气味，的气味。

那一瞬间，你终于发现，那曾深爱过的人~
早在告别的那天，已消失在这个世界。。。。

也许那一次见面，是生命给你机会，了解爱只是人所渴望的投射面。
只是渴望会改变，他的爱已经不见，已不见。

那一瞬间，你终于发现，那深爱过的人，
早在告别的那天，已消失在这个世界。

那一瞬间，你终于发现，心中的爱和思念，
都只是属于自己，曾经拥有过，
曾经拥有过，曾经拥有过，的纪念。